For His Glory
She told me she’d help. She told me she knew people. Right. I’ve heard it all before. Promises broken. Promises forgotten. Promises ignored.
I sat at the computer, pounding the poor key board as if it had wronged me, typing as I mumbled: “Just wait. Just wait until I make it then see if I help her. Just wait until I’m successful and she comes crawling for my help. Ha! We’ll see how she likes it.”
It’s embarrassing sharing this story with you. If only it were fiction, like my books. Unfortunately, it’s not fiction. This happened shortly after I wrote my first book. My face is growing warm as I type.
I continued to pound and complain and whine while I wrote—maybe a page or more of writing. Finally, when my thoughts stilled, I heard that still small voice ask me, “Do you mean, if your entire purpose here on earth was to elevate her so she could glorify Me, you wouldn’t do it?”
My mouth dropped a little. My eyes filled with tears. What a lesson. Exactly who was I writing for? Me? My heart broke. I was supposed to be writing to bring people to Jesus. I was supposed to help people know truth and healing and forgiveness and grace and all those churchy feel good words we try to convey to the lost masses.
My actions spoke a whole other message. What I was doing was all about me. It was about bringing attention to me. My writing was about glorifying me.
Talk about conviction. My mouth said one thing: “this is all for You, Jesus.” My heart said the complete opposite.
After repenting I remembered why I was doing what I was doing. This is all about our Lord, not me. Of course, I would do whatever He asked of me. Even elevate someone else so He might be glorified. This is for His glory, not mine. I learned an important lesson that day, one I will never forget. Even if my flesh gets offended in the process, I’ll do whatever it takes to bring his will to fruition. Pride has no place in this relationship.
I’ve shared this story many times when speaking. This is a lesson we all need to remember. This world is not about us. It’s not about pleasing us or fulfilling us. The trinkets of pleasure have no meaning without Christ at the forefront.
I started out with good intentions. Then, when my expectations weren’t met, I quickly spiraled out of control. Even when I think I have good intentions my flesh can creep up and bite me on the bottom. It hurts. Yet, no where near as much as being chastised by God.
I learned what true mercy was that day. He forgave me. Even though I do not deserve them, He still gives me opportunities to glorify Him. I’ll always be thankful for His great love for me.
Father, I pray every deed, every word spoken, every action taken is to bring You glory.