This week, I want to tell you: Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Everyone needs help. You are not weak. You are not a burden. You are a human being who cannot do it all.
It took me a long time to understand this concept. At times, I still drag my feet when asking for help. I’m working on it.
Here is the story I shared with Hello, Darling.
I was a late bloomer. Because of the abuse in my childhood, I hit puberty as a shy, timid girl who feared her own shadow. When I started menstruating, I had no idea what to do. I never had the wisdom of a female role model. I wadded up toilet paper to keep from being thoroughly embarrassed. My periods were extremely light and only lasted two days. But I feared asking for help. I never thought anyone would want to help me, and I was fearful of admitting I had needs.
By the time I reached high school I had people in my life who loved me, who would have helped me if only I had asked. But I didn’t.
Because of how I was raised, I never asked for anything. Ever. What a bad habit to have to break. These are the experiences that define us if we let them. We cannot let them. We must be willing to let go of those negative behaviors that keep us from accomplishing God’s call on our lives. Sometimes we hold onto the bad like we would hold onto precious jewels. Don’t be afraid to let them go. I know it’s hard. I know they protect us when life is unfair, unkind. But they also hinder us. We will always fall short of our potential if self-preservation is our sole focus.
Sometimes I chastise my daughter for always having to learn the hard way. She came by the trait honestly. She got it from her mother. I saw need as weakness. I always prided myself in being self-sufficient, battle ready, and able to do anything I put my mind to. As an adult, God allowed me to be in situations that required me to get help. I hated it. I fought it. I stomped my feet and shook my fist. I didn’t need anyone. I believed in God but I believed in myself more. He was patient with me as I learned my lesson. (And my husband has every right to blame our slow climb to success on my stubbornness.)
Part of my hesitancy was protecting myself. Admitting I had needs meant I had to let people near my heart, a heart that had been broken so many times I wasn’t sure if it could handle any more pain. God had bigger plans for me than hiding behind a painted on smile, plans that required my heart to both love and be loved. Giving Him free reign wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. I can’t imagine my life today if I had held on to such a self-centered belief. I have learned it is okay to ask for help. It is okay to not measure up.
Do yourself a favor. Grow. Let go. Ask someone, anyone, for help. When we allow others to help us, we are more prone to help others. And what a joy that is!
Come back next week for the second thing I want to tell you.
See you then!